thetpaisie asked: Even if you can't beat Tebow in a fight (which I hope you could he's a pussy, Go Gaytors, FSU all the way) he is saving himself for marriage which doesn't make him a man, it makes him a bitch. So by default you're more of a man then him even though you haven't slept with many girls. Teblow is uber lame. Go Noles!
Chef DeMamp's Gourmet Ketchup
Made the last of the dino shaped nuggets we bought at Costco only to discover that we were out of ketchup. Instead of getting sad or yelling at Ders I decided to create my own ketchup out of whatever I could find in the pantry. Boy did I hit the jackpot. First I found a can of tomato sauce which I emptied into a large bowl, then I added: salt pepper vinegar sugar (pretty much copied the...
The Gym Diary
Saw this poster when we saw DRIVE last Friday and it gave me the form I’ve been looking for in my post-Muscle Exhaustion workout media. I could have called it The Gym/Gin Diary, but I don’t drink gin much and hardly ever do so at the gym. Best not to force the title. Every week, I’ll take you inside the process that makes me the (fit) man I am. How I maxed out, who I got...
So the reason the frozen pizza was in the fridge was because Jet Set was using the box to carry HIS lunch. Must have been out of brown paper bags, or he’s into recycling, or, a million other things. Had to find out, so I traded my pudding for the pizza box. I haven’t cracked the code yet, Da Vinci, but I’m on the case, guys.
Brown paper bagged it today, and as I was putting it in the fridge I noticed Jet Set had brought a frozen pizza. Not sure if he meant to put it in the fridge (instead of the freezer, maybe he likes his rare), but his signature was impossible to misplace. Thinking of making him an offer he can’t refuse; my full lunch for his pizza, straight up. I got a pudding in mine for a dessert, so...
Here’s a picture I took with Ders at the mall before all that crap went down between us. I just got it back and frankly, I can’t believe how fucking hot I look. I’ve decided that the logical thing for me to do at this point is to insure my face with Lloyd’s of London. I sent them an email requesting that I’d like to insure my face in the amount of $12,000,000...
paigeinflorida asked: Oh, you SO have Tebow. But can I help just for the fun of it? Or just be there to watch? We've got beef from WAY back.
Definitive Father/Son Movie List
Stayed up real late last night, browsing Netflix, IMDB, and my own memory to pick the perfect 10 movies I will wait to introduce to my son/daughter/offspring once I feel they are emotionally (and in some cases, physically) mature enough to enjoy it at the same level as me. Thanks to Montez for inspiring me. Good luck with your COCKTAIL viewing next weekend, bud, love to stop by if it...
Football Players I Could Beat Up
Here is a definitive list of NFL players whose asses I could kick: Tim Tebow - Back - up QB, Denver Broncos. (6’3, 236 lbs). I really hate Tim Tebow. He’s super religious, he cries during games and he’s a total goody two shoes. Even though he’s got about 8 inches and 50 lbs on me, I could still beat the shit out of him. Wes Welker - Wide receiver, New England Patriots....
A Dastardly Deed
Here’s what happened to me yesterday: Ders and I went to the laundromat to do laundry (sheets and towels) and as a joke I put my red Nebraska shirt in with his stuff (which happens to be all white). The joke was a home run because all of his whites turned reddish - white when he took them out and everyone at the laundromat laughed - except Ders. He actually yelled at me and totally...
Never take a cab you can’t pay for.– Great advice from Roman, the cab driver who picked me up at the Black Bear Saturday night after I told the guys I was going rogue on a lucky lady. Turns out she was only sitting alone because her boyfriend was in the can, so I ended up doing both shots of courage I had bought for us, and it...
the-son-of-mars asked: so adam, could you give me some tips on how to get a bod like yours? ive been trying but i gotta know the secret
Plane Jane Office Maim... Ma'am. Ma'am.
Office is unsexy as fuck today. Miss when Naomi was here, raising the stakes of my pant story. I think the whole office feels it, too. At least the dudes, but hey, some of the ladies, too. I walked by her desk and it still kind of smelled like her. I think Jillian bought a bottle of her perfume, and sprays the chair everyday. She’s the best. I looked for pictures of Naomi online,...
DeMamp's Monthly Champ!
Forgot I totally had an answer for this whole “No TAC Employee of the Month” thing, until Homegirl asked me if she were in the running, because she doesn’t run because of an ankle injury and it’s painful to run in real life but she loves to run metaphorically… she went on for like 10 minutes while I was waiting for my Mac & Cheese to be done, it sucked hard. ...